An ‘AITA for using my daughter’s college fund for my stepson’s rehab’ has outraged users who think the OP’s husband is out of order for guilt tripping a young girl into giving his son money.
AITA’s are all the rage on social media right now. AITA’s (Am I The A******?) are a popular type of Reddit forum where people share their stories and open the floor to whether they’re the ones in the wrong. They often include relationship advice and stories about warring family members. Several of the most popular AITA threads have also found their way onto TikTok where they have gained even more traction.
‘AITA for using my daughter’s college fund for my stepson’s rehab?’
This AITA starts out with the OP saying that she’s been married to her husband for three years and that she has a 15-year-old daughter, while her husband has a 24-year-old son from another relationship.
The OP says that her late husband (her daughter’s father) died when her daughter was six, and that they both contributed to her college fund. Her daughter’s paternal grandparents also contributed a large amount to the fund which right now has about $180,000. She adds that she and her current husband have separate finances and he doesn’t contribute to the fund at all.
However, the OP’s stepson (her new husband’s son) is struggling with a heroin addiction, and has stolen money, jewellery, heirlooms, and electronics for drug money. The OP personally paid for an outpatient detox for him, which cost $1000, which failed.
Her husband then paid for an outpatient rehab program, which cost $6500, which also didn’t work because the son barely showed up. They then split the cost of another $6500 outpatient rehab program, which seemed to work during the program, but the stepson relapsed as soon as he got out of it.
The husband said the OP’s daughter was ‘selfish’ for not wanting to help her stepbrother
The OP adds that her and her husband wanted her stepson to try a 60-day inpatient rehab program, which costs $30,000. However, her husband and his son want to use her daughter’s college fund, which to the OP is absolutely off-limits.
She says: ‘I feel like it’s completely unfair to my daughter to punish her for my stepson’s addiction, unfair to my late husband and his parents, but frankly, I don’t think spending $30,000 will work. My husband thinks I’m an a****** because I’m prioritizing my daughter’s education over his son’s life, and he believes medical needs come first.’
The OP says her husband then asked her daughter if she’d be willing to use $30,000 from her fund to pay for her stepbrother’s rehab, and she got very quiet and did not answer. He then got very upset with her and said she was being selfish. The OP’s daughter later told her that she didn’t want to give her stepbrother the money, but she felt guilty. The OP adds she is furious at her husband for emotionally guilt tripping her daughter like that.
Users are outraged that the husband would ask and put the daughter in that situation
Nearly all of the Reddit users in the AITA were in agreement that the husband was out of line and should never had put that on the OP’s daughter.
‘NTA (Not The A******)’, one person said. ‘Addiction is a serious problem and I’m sorry for your stepson and his dad, but not sorry enough to excuse what they’re trying to pull here. Your daughter is not a cash-cow for them to raid when it suits. This kid has stolen your money and your property – he’s trying to steal your daughters future.’
‘NTA. And your husband is an a****** for trying to make your daughter feel guilty,’ another added.
‘Yep. There’s no question there. I agree with everything you said. Desperate people will do desperate things, including guilt tripping a minor into not having the education other people have ensured she has. Do not give in. You spent enough,’ a third added.
‘NTA. Wow what an enormous a****** your husband is! I mean I get that he’s desperate to get his hands on your money to try again to help his son. But to ask your daughter for the money and then get angry with her for not even answering is a low I haven’t seen on AITA in a long time. Honestly that’s divorce material,’ a fourth commented.
