Yeah, it’s bad, but is it “Showgirls” bad?
“Showgirls” carries the dubious “so bad it’s good” distinction of featuring so much unintentional hilarity that it’s worth a look.
‘Madame Web’ (IMDb)
“Madame Web,” on the other hand, isn’t quite up that standard, although it does provide a lot of unintentional laughter.
The story never becomes cohesive. The dialogue is ridiculous. And the CGI looks more CGI-ish than in most super-hero movies – and that’s saying a lot.
This, incidentally, is a Sony/Marvel production, and not an MCU presentation.
The movie begins in the Amazon, where a scientist (Cassandra Webb’s mother) is on a trip to research – you guessed it – spiders.
Then the film jumps to 2003. Dakota Johnson stars as Cassandra Webb, a paramedic in New York City. Her good friend is Ben Parker (Adam Scott) – and yes, that’s a Spidey reference.
After a terrifying accident, Cassie discovers she can see into the near future, so she’s able to avoid disaster and help keep those around her safe, too.
During her adventure, she becomes a kind of surrogate mom to three teenagers (one of them is Sydney Sweeney) who all have super powers, too.
Of course there’s a villain (Tahar Rahim,) who was involved in a tragedy connected to Cassie’s late mother. He, too, has a kind of clairvoyance, and fears the young women at whose hands he may meet his demise.
There’s a lot of nonsense about a group of spider-people in the Amazon. This is particularly frustrating because we never learn the back story of these characters … and they’re the most interesting part of the film.
It’s no wonder that memes mocking this movie are making their way across social media.
Its plot, its dialogue, its characters – all are threadbare in this ridiculous Spidey spinoff.
1 star
Rated: PG-13 for violence.
Running time: One hour and 57 minutes.
In theaters.
Watch the trailer here.
