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A core component of anxiety—be it subclinical anxiety or anxiety that meets the threshold for a generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) diagnosis—is anxious thinking that can at times feel uncontrollable.
Psychotherapies for anxiety help people address these thoughts in different ways. In psychodynamic psychotherapy, the roots or underlying (sometimes called unconscious) reasons for anxiety are unearthed. In cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), thoughts are actively challenged or tested by behavioral experiments (for example, doing something that you are anxious about to experientially learn that the outcome will be okay).
In acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), as in CBT, there is an emphasis on becoming more aware of the thoughts as thoughts and not truths. However, the next step in ACT is to learn ways to be “less fused” with the thoughts (That is, if cognitive fusion is the baseline, cognitive defusion is the goal).
By changing the way you interact with your beliefs, you may begin to experience some relief.
5 Ways to Defuse Anxious Thoughts
Here are five cognitive defusion exercises to try. Pick the one or two that most appeal to you, and try them repeatedly over the span of a few days. If it works, keep going with it; if it doesn’t, try another exercise on the list instead.
- Your Mind, With a Capital “M:” For the sake of this exercise, think of your mind as a separate entity from yourself. Name it “Mind.” When the anxious chatter begins, tell yourself something like, “Well there goes Mind again, chitchatting away” or “Wow, Mind is doing that thing he loves to do, telling me how nothing will ever work out.” By treating the mind as an external, rather than internal, creature you might create enough space between you and your thoughts to feel a bit better.
- The Car Radio That Won’t Turn Off: Imagine that you are sitting in the passenger seat of a car, and the driver has turned on an awful radio station that is playing a soundtrack of your anxious thoughts. You’re not in a position to change it or turn it off; instead, you must tolerate it and accept that the thoughts are there and that the noise is unpleasant.
- A Keychain in Your Pocket: You most likely carry a set of keys with you always. Try assigning each of your most common anxious thoughts to a specific key. When you use that key, make yourself think the corresponding thought. Notice that you can carry the thought and not always think it, and also that when you do think the thought, you can still use the key. It is possible to carry difficult beliefs with you and not let them dictate your actions.
- A Bossy Bully: Treat your thought like a bully on the playground of adulthood and ask, “Who is in charge here? Is my thought in charge or am I in charge?” If it helps, get a little angry at the thought—colorful language included—as you assert yourself against the bossy bully.
- Thoughts for Sale: Distinguish between a thought you are having and a thought you are buying as true. Label your thoughts: judgment, criticism, comparison, exaggeration, etc. Then ask yourself, “Do I want to buy the thought that I am ______________?” Consider what it will cost you and if it’s really a good investment.
Using Cognitive Defusion Exercises
The purpose of these exercises is not to change the frequency with which you experience anxious thoughts (though if that happens for you, fantastic!). Rather, defusion exercises are effective if they decrease your attachment to a particular belief or set of beliefs that are not currently serving you well.
If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
Negative, worry-filled thoughts perpetuate our anxiety. They also paralyze us from taking action and can prevent us from leading a fulfilling life.
Sometimes, we mistakenly assume worry helps us circumvent potential catastrophes: If we aren’t worried, something terrible will happen.
But as licensed psychologist and anxiety expert Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D, writes in her book Freeing Yourself From Anxiety: 4 Simple Steps to Overcome Worry and Create The Life You Want, “When did you last say, ‘Thank goodness I wasted, I mean, spent the last three hours freaking out about that job interview. The worry was so helpful and I feel much better now’?”
Many of us might even realize the futility of worrying. But we can’t seem to stop worrying about our relationship, our job, our kids and ourselves. And, often, we mistake these worrisome, anxious thoughts for the truth.
“If only anxious and negative thoughts showed up on the caller ID in the mind’s eye – ‘1-800-Unreliable and Unrealistic,’ ‘Exaggerations-R-Us,’ or more to the point, ‘Knee-Jerk Reactions, to go’ — life would be much easier,” Chansky writes.
“The good news is that you don’t have to stop anxious or negative thoughts from calling, you just need to know how to handle the calls.”
In other words, you don’t need to banish or eliminate these thoughts. You just need to find healthy ways to navigate them. Here are several suggestions from Chansky’s excellent book.
1. Relabel your thoughts.
We assume our catastrophic cognitions are cold, hard facts and doing so can cause us a lot of heartache (especially considering these thoughts are inaccurate). What’s more helpful is to pause and relabel a thought as unreliable or as coming from a questionable source.
We actually already know how to relabel. In fact, it’s something we do naturally.
Chansky uses the example of coming home from work at 6 p.m. and noticing the clock says 12:00. We don’t act like it’s noon or midnight, she writes. Instead, we relabel the situation with “power outage.” We change the clocks to the correct time and go about our business.
You can do the same with worry thoughts. When you relabel your thoughts, you give yourself the space not to absorb them, and you’re able to dismiss them more easily.
Chansky includes the following exercise: Create characters or narrators that help you separate maladaptive thoughts from reasonable thoughts.
On a piece of paper draw two boxes: In one box write different names for the negative thoughts, such as “The Magnifier,” “Misery Man” or “The Alarmist.” In the second box list the names for your logical thoughts, such as “Logic Woman,” “Einstein” or “Voice of Reason.”
Next, take one worry and see how the narrators in each box tell the story. Then notice how you feel listening to each one.
As Chansky writes, “When we say, That’s my anxiety, that’s an amygdala surge, that’s my inner pessimist pecking away at me, or even just simply, That’s grossly premature, we begin to have a choice in how we narrate the events of our life.”
2. Turn automatic thoughts into questions.
Anxious thoughts are very convincing. They convince us that we can’t do something or we can’t live without something, and so we get stuck in a very limited line of thinking.
However, Chansky reminds us that we do have options, and there are many possibilities. We just haven’t considered them yet.
“Fear narrows our perspective; it literally narrows our field of vision. Taking the time to look at different interpretations, information and ideas that exist just outside the quandary we perceive is boxing us in allows us to stretch outside the box.”
One way to be more flexible is to transform automatic statements into questions. Then you can explore these questions by gathering information online, talking to knowledgeable people and creating a specific plan. Chansky shares these examples:
- “I’m never going to get a job in marketing” can become “How do I best get a job in marketing?”
- “I’ll never be able to afford my own house” can become “What are the different ways I could afford my own house?”
- “I’m never going to be a good enough mother” can become “Is there something I want to be doing as a mother that I’m not doing now?”
A similar strategy is to turn assumptions into questions. For instance, do you assume that you’re not the kind of person who could ever do X, Y or Z? Or maybe you convince yourself that you can’t live without something that’s actually unhealthy?
Before you dismiss a potential opportunity, explore it.
As Chansky writes, think of this as browsing at the mall: “There’s no cost to try things on, and you may be surprised to find that outlandish things fit better than you thought.”
Here are several examples: “If I were the kind of person who could do X, what would it look like for me?” or “If I could live without that, what would I do instead?”
3. Pinpoint the specific problem.
Worry has a way of not only magnifying problems but of obscuring them, as well. It transforms a small problem into a cluttered pile of calamities. We get so overwhelmed we don’t know what to do or where to start.
According to Chansky, “When you’re upset or worried about one thing, the equivalent of a neurological flash-mob instantly assembles, creating a cascade of many possible things to worry about. Suddenly, it’s not clear what the problem is and isn’t, especially when every dreadful thought sounds so compelling and important.”
So you’re not stuck in a sea of worries, Chansky suggests getting specific. One exercise is to narrow down your problems through a series of boxes, starting from the biggest box and scaling down to the smallest. This way you move from a catastrophic concern to an issue that’s specific and manageable.
Chansky gives this example: The biggest box starts with “My life is totally out of control.” A smaller box says, “I can’t find anything I need.” The next box, which is smaller than the second, says: “I need to spend a few weekends organizing my office.” And, lastly, the smallest box says: “I need to start with my desk.”
Worry can keep us overwhelmed, paralyzed and hyper-focused on a narrow line of thinking. But the good news is that we can apply various strategies to deal with our negative automatic thoughts and move forward.
What if they hate my presentation?
What if I have cancer?
What if I lose control and go crazy?
What if my husband dies?
What if I never get rid of these awful thoughts?”
Those darn racing, unwanted, intrusive, anxious thoughts. You’re being plagued with automated negative thoughts and images you can’t stand, yet there is nothing you can do to make them go away.
How to stop anxious thoughts fast?
The answer is here.
How Anxious Thoughts Take Control Over You
Anxious thoughts are like that website that you open up in your browser and gets your entire computer stuck.
You wait a few seconds and when nothing changes, you restart your computer, right?
Racing, troubled thoughts get your brain stuck. You happily go about your day when suddenly they come out of nowhere and literally paralyze you in such a way you can’t think about anything else.
The anxious irrational thoughts send an unpleasant shock wave through your nervous system.
Then, once you start reacting to the anxious thought you find yourself thinking about it over and over again, building a fake and frightening future from it in minutes.
The repetitive anxious thought can last minutes, hours, days depending on how upset you become by the thought.
But if you want to combat depressive and anxious thinking, here’s exactly how to do it:
How to Stop Anxious Thoughts in 30 Seconds
I want to share with you an incredibly effective cognitive therapy technique for anxious thinking, to help you “restart” your brain and get rid of anxious thoughts almost instantly.
This technique is “borrowed” (with permission) from Barry Joe Macdonald , the creator of “ Panic Away “ , and in my experience, the quickest and most effective “trick” to eliminate intrusive thoughts instantly.
The “Observe – Trust – Move Technique”
“Observe the anxious thought and label it. Say:
“Oh there is fear X again, imagine that”
Try your very best to not get sucked into reacting emotionally to the thought.
Then:
Trust that what you are worrying about will in all probability never happen. Almost all the troubled thoughts we have are a complete waste of our time and energy.
Trust that things will work out fine.
(Joseph Cossman said, “If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.”)
If you are religious/spiritual than hand your anxious thought over to a higher power. Trust that there is nothing to fear and you will be looked after.
Trust and let it go.
Lastly:
Move your attention elsewhere. Focus on something positive that takes your mind out of the anxious groove.
Replace the anxious thought with a positive thought. You are not trying to suppress the anxious thought, you are simply moving your attention elsewhere.
You are restarting your brain.
Whatever you are doing, focus on that completely. Be there. Be in the moment.
If you are out on the street, look at people’s faces. Check out what they’re wearing. If you are in your car, focus on your surroundings – the sights and sounds. Focus on the music on the radio.
If you are with someone else, focus your attention on him or her – completely.
By moving your attention to the present moment you will leave no more room for the anxious thoughts to take control of your mind.
[Tweet “The Observe – Trust – Move Technique to stop #anxious thoughts in 30 seconds”]
Remember – O.T.M
Observe, Trust, Move.
This is one of the best ways to stop intrusive thoughts – fast.
It didn’t fully work for me for the first time, but the second time I did it – the frightening thoughts disappeared in 30 seconds. And so will yours.
If your life is being completely ruined by intrusive anxious thoughts, and you find yourself constantly worrying, CBT techniques are can help you in more ways you can imagine.
To learn more about how to use CBT to overcome anxiety and panic , click the link right now.
What Are Your Anxiety Thoughts About? (Poll)
Let me know what you think:
To your health and happiness,
Meital
P.S
If you suffer from full-blown panic attacks, you should know there’s a technique to stop them too in 30 seconds . Check it out.
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About Meital James
Meital James, Founder and CEO of 4 healthy living blogs, has a background in Naturopathic medicine, research, journalism, and nutrition.
Her blogs are the culmination of her thousands of hours of research and experience and all the posts are verified by scientific findings.
Comments
I know this…..MY ANXIETY IS EVIL! And I don’t like it very much. Thank you for showing me a way to possibly deal with that anxiety monster of mine.
I have acute anxiety at the moment for various reasons, I cant sleep or eat very well and I have pains in my chest. I know all things pass and one day this will be a memory but in the mean time I will try these techniques and do the best I can.
Thanks for stopping by..I really enjoy your blog and the posts on your blog hop and thanks for your support!:)
Anxious! Worried? Sure I am–more often than I like to admit.
I really enjoyed reading this post about how the CBT technique can help us “restart” the brain and get rid of anxious thoughts quickly. Unresolved anxiety is detrimental to our health and happiness. Using this easy to implement technique properly can actually change lives. Thank you so much for sharing this valuable tool with us at the Happy, Healthy, Green and Natural Hop!
I love this! Thanks for sharing. It is so true that you need to take hold of the thought immediately. Otherwise you can let fear grip you. I am a school psychologist and I love using CBT!
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Questions you have to ask yourself when thoughts start to spin out of control.
Posted Jun 30, 2016
THE BASICS
- What Is Anxiety?
- Find a therapist to overcome anxiety
I want explore two big beliefs linked to anxiety. The two aren’t necessarily conscious; they’re more of an invisible undercurrent. But like a riptide, these waters may be dangerous or even pull you under.
1. “The worst-case scenario is sure to happen.”
You probably know someone who can find the silver lining of any misfortune: A loved one dies and they are thankful the person’s suffering has ended. They’ve been fired but relish the opportunity to start anew. On the flip side, you probably also know someone who complains about everything: The beach was too sandy. The sangria was too fruity. And you probably know (or are) someone who can imagine a worst-case scenario for any situation: You have a headache? It’s a brain tumor! There’s traffic? Your boss is sure to notice when you walk in late. Vacationing in Cancun for a week? If you drink the water, you’ll be sick the whole time!
This is the dubious power of anxiety—the ability to amplify a situation that’s anything from ambiguous to slightly threatening into a full-on catastrophe. Sometimes this is useful—you see your kids hauling a toboggan up the playground slide and assume they’re not just planning on enjoying the view from the top. But other times it’s not so useful: We may foresee big problems in small challenges: You make a mistake at work and dread that you’ll get fired. Your partner doesn’t respond to a text so they must be mad at you. Sometimes we’re not even sure what we’re anxious about; we’re simply convinced that something bad is going to happen.
What should you do when your brain makes Mount Everest out of a molehill?
When a worst-case scenario starts to freak you out, ask yourself, “How bad would that really be?” In other words, are you truly facing a disaster of epic proportions? For example, “What if we don’t get any offers on the house?” How bad would that be? Take a step back and think. “It wouldn’t be ideal. I’d have to rethink some financial decisions, but I could put it on the market again next year.”
The second question to ask yourself is, “What are the odds?” How probable is it that you really have a brain tumor? Is it more likely that you’re just stressed out or dehydrated? What are the odds that your partner didn’t text you back because she’s mad? Is it possible she’s just busy or that she left her phone in the car?
At least one of these questions—if not both—should address most of your anxious thoughts.
2. “I can’t handle it.”
The second reason for anxiety is we think we’re helpless. It makes sense: If we don’t feel prepared, we become anxious.
Anxiety makes us doubt our abilities, and so our fear feels like fact. We feel incapable, so we believe we must be incapable. We feel overwhelmed, so we must be.
What’s the best way to fight back when the fear feels real?
Your magic question here is: “What could I do?” Think of all the resources you can turn to tackle anxieties that could become reality—friends, family, inner strength, health insurance, chutzpah, etc. How would you cope? What could you do?
If you really had a brain tumor (even though you know it’s probably just a headache), what would you do? You would find a good oncologist, take time off from work, adhere to your treatments, and rely on friends and family. It wouldn’t be a cakewalk—it would be really, really hard. But the point is that there are things you could do. The situation wouldn’t be hopeless.
Thankfully, most of our worries aren’t that traumatic. What if your vacation gets rained out? What would you do? Get to know every museum in the city, or buy a really big umbrella and go out in spite of the weather. Worried you’ll never find the right partner? Well, what could you do? Enjoy your life, spend time getting to know people, and trust that the right person will come along eventually. And if they don’t, you’ll still have built a great life with a wide circle of friends. Your worries may seem overwhelming, but you can cope with pretty much anything life throws at you, from curveballs to screwballs.
Bonus: While hunting anxiety in the wilds of your brain, look out for the distinctive plumage of a question mark. Anxious statements are almost always phrased as questions: What if? What then? What now? And questions are slippery—they’re hard to combat, and the answer is almost always negative. When you catch yourself asking questions that begin with “What if. ” change your question to a statement and then challenge it. For example, “What if the plane crashes?” is hard to answer positively—that would be a disaster. Change the question to a statement—“The plane is going to crash”—and now you can tackle it by asking, “What are the odds of that happening?”
A version of this piece originally appeared on Quick and Dirty Tips.
Disclaimer: All content is strictly for informational purposes only. This content does not substitute for mental health care from a licensed professional.
LinkedIn Image Credit: baranq/Shutterstock
Negative thoughts are one of the hallmarks of anxiety. It’s natural to want to know how to get rid of them because negative thoughts interfere in our ability to live the life we want. Anxiety and negative thoughts are an evil duo that strengthen each other in order to make us miserable. They may strengthen each other, but we are stronger. When we learn how to deal with them, we can get rid of them.
Thought experts from many different disciplines, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), meditation and yoga advise us of the power of our thoughts. It’s what we think about ourselves and the world around us, not actual events in our lives, that aggravate anxiety (Bourne, 2010; Burns, 1999; Imparato, 2016; Mindell & Hopkins, 2009).
You can get rid of negative thoughts and anxiety. It starts with neutral observation.
Anxiety and Thoughts: Observing Your Thoughts and Yourself
Your brain both thinks and observes. With anxiety, the thinking part of the brain seems to completely take over; not only that but thoughts are often predominately negative. Our thinking self analyzes, worries, judges, and has a host of automatic negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety.
We also have an observing self (Harris, 2008). That part of our brain simply exists. It watches and is aware of both our inner and outer worlds, but it doesn’t analyze, critique, or judge. It is aware of anxiety’s negative thoughts; however, it doesn’t buy into them.
Developing our observing, neutral perspective can help get rid of the negative thoughts of anxiety. This is a learned skill, and with practice we can untangle ourselves from our thoughts, thus reducing their impact and creating space to live well.
Observe Negative Thoughts That Contribute to Anxiety
Specific types of negative thoughts contribute to anxiety. David Burns (1999) shares negative thought patterns, the identification of which is part of CBT.
- All-or-nothing thinking (black-or-white thinking): viewing people, events, and more as one extreme or another;
- Overgeneralization: thinking in terms of “always” or “never;”
- Mental filter: filtering out the positive and dwelling on the negative;
- Discounting the positive: noticing the positive but dismissing it as an exception;
- Jumping to conclusions: automatically assuming the worst;
- Magnification: exaggerating the negative and placing too much importance on it;
- Emotional reasoning: letting negative emotions be in charge;
- “Should” statements: imposing rules on yourself;
- Labeling: using negative words and concepts to describe yourself.
- Personalization or blame: Thinking things are your fault or someone else’s fault.
When you become aware of these, you can begin to step back and just observe the thoughts. They’re there, but you don’t have to believe them.
Observe Self-Talk
Words and language have a huge role in anxiety. If we want calming thoughts for anxiety, we need to pay attention to our inner language, the way we talk to ourselves. When we’re constantly berating ourselves, saying things like “I’m an idiot,” or “I’m going to fail,” or “I’m a terrible parent,” we become worried and anxious.
Observation makes us aware of the way we talk to ourselves. Once we know that negative self-talk is behind anxiety, we can become quiet and listen for it. Once we start catching that negative self-talk, we can call it out and get rid of it.
Getting Rid of Negative Thoughts and Anxiety
You now know one important step in dealing with anxiety and our thoughts: observation. The second important step is to replace your negative thoughts with positive, realistic ones.
To merely get rid of thoughts without having something to fill in the gap doesn’t work. Without something new, the brain will go right back to its old thoughts.
Try these tips for getting rid of and replacing negative thoughts that provoke your anxiety:
- Observe your negative thoughts and self-talk.
- Reflect, such as in journaling or artistic exploration, on your inaccurate beliefs.
- Question them and make changes to them, For example, you’re probably not incompetent. What are your strengths, and where do you have success (Five Character Strengths of People Living with Anxiety)?
- Create statements that realistically counter your negative thoughts and self-talk. Such positive statements are known as affirmations, and repeating them multiple times every day teaches your brain to get rid of the negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic, positive ones.
- Practice mindfulness, being present in the moment. Concentrate on what’s happening around you to distract yourself from the negative thoughts.
- Cultivate a sense of awe and gratitude. Connecting to things that are bigger than you, than all of us, is a natural way to counter negative thoughts and anxiety (Flora, 2016).
Increasing your awareness of your thoughts and self-talk is quite empowering because you no longer feel at the mercy of anxiety. When you observe what’s going on in your head and then replace it with thoughts and beliefs that are much more accurate than the automatic thoughts, you are on your way to getting rid of these negative thoughts and anxiety.
Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She’s also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the Mentally Strong People podcast.
Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), in adults and youth, is characterized by persistent, excessive worry. If the problem started and ended with a worry, it might not be such a big deal. Instead, people with GAD get bogged down as one worry leads to another and another.
How an Anxiety Cycle Begins
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Worries are maintained for several reasons. Some worries might persist because of biased thinking. This could involve an overestimation of the likelihood of a bad outcome or an exaggeration of how bad the bad outcome will be. Some worries are strengthened by negative thoughts about oneself, such as the belief that one would be unable to cope with uncertainty or an undesirable outcome.
Worries can also persist because of how information in the environment is processed. A person with GAD may selectively tune into information that supports the worry and ignore evidence that refutes it. And memory can also be selective.
In some cases, people with anxiety problems have difficulty recalling data that is inconsistent with a particular worry.
Lastly, worries can persist because of the ways to which they are responded. Individuals with untreated anxiety problems tend to respond to their fears by trying to suppress the worry, seek reassurance that nothing bad will happen, or avoid situations that might trigger the fear. These strategies can make people feel terrible and reinforce the anxiety, thus creating a cycle.
Why Break the Cycle?
Take, for example, the worry that “My boyfriend is going to break up with me.” This is an intrusive thought that is actually quite normal for a person to have. It might come up ‘out of the blue’ or in response to a specific situation.
However, an overly anxious person would appraise this thought as very meaningful, review all the reasons why this thought might be true, try to reduce the anxiety in the short-term (effectively strengthening it in the long-term), and feel terrible.
Thus, the belief becomes even more significant and is experienced more frequently and more intensely than in someone without an anxiety problem. To overcome anxiety, this vicious cycle needs to be broken.
How to Break the Cycle
There are different ways that you may be able to approach an anxiety cycle and break it for better emotional wellness.
Acceptance
One way to break the cycle is to learn to accept that not every intrusive thought is signaling a legitimate reason to worry. Simply put, not every thought is true.
Instead of trying to wrestle with beliefs, acceptance-based techniques involve identifying the thought, labeling it (“worry” or “judgment,” for example), and being mindful of the moment that gives rise to the belief as well as the moment when it begins to recede from awareness.
Questioning
Another strategy that can effectively break the link between biases in thinking and information processing is cognitive restructuring. This technique is a cornerstone of a treatment approach called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Cognitive restructuring offers a way to critically evaluate potentially distorted thoughts, like “He’s definitely going to break up with me” or “I cannot go on without him,” by asking a series of questions about the belief that can encourage a more balanced view of the relevant facts.
Exposure
Finally, exposure is a tool that can break the cycle by eliminating reliance on ineffective anxiety reduction strategies. The basic concept of exposure is to lean into anxiety by confronting, rather than avoiding, anxiety-provoking situations to learn by experience either that nothing terrible will happen, or that bad outcomes are manageable (and might even have an upside).
When facing a fear, it is critical not to engage in any safety behaviors that might “undo” learning; this is sometimes referred to as response prevention.
Exposure exercises for the example above would include intentionally disagreeing with a boyfriend or imagining what it would be like to get into a major argument. Repetition helps with exposure, so it would be important to disagree with some regularity or to imagine the major argument again and again—until it all becomes more boring than anxiety-provoking.
The response prevention component would be to do these things and not ask whether or not your boyfriend is mad, so as to learn to live with uncertainty. While the cycle of anxiety is, indeed, vicious, breaking even one link can go a long way to diminishing worry and the anxiety to which it leads.
If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
1. Remember that the worst-case scenario probably won’t come to pass.
Posted Apr 18, 2016
by Patricia Harteneck, Ph.D.
Racing thoughts—fast, repetitive thought patterns about a particular topic—are a common feature of anxiety and other mental-health disorders. But they can happen any time you are in an anxious or stressed state, even if you are not experiencing other symptoms.
Racing thoughts may be replays of past events which generated anxiety or sadness for you. They may also be worries about things that could happen in the future. They are strings of thoughts that are blown out of proportion, have a pattern, consume time, and often have no rational conclusion.
They can look like this:
“I always forget what I have to do. I’m so stupid. If I don’t remember everything, I’ll get fired. I don’t know what I’ll do if that happens. I should have taken that job I was offered six months ago. If I lose my job, I won’t have any money. I need to work longer hours to keep this job. That just makes me more depressed. I’m so miserable. What am I going to do?”
When thoughts like these flood your mind, they drain your energy, stop you from living in the present moment, and can create a loop in your brain that feels difficult to escape. They can also make it harder to concentrate and accomplish daily tasks, and impair your memory and sleep.
Having racing thoughts is often disturbing and frightening because it creates a sense of being out of control. But having racing thoughts does not mean you’re out of control or crazy. It does mean that you are anxious and that your stress level is higher than usual.
Here are some ways you can work to calm your mind and stop racing thoughts:
1. Use cognitive distancing.
Our mind usually worries about things it is convinced are true but, most of the time, are actually not true. You can balance your mind’s tendency to predict the worst outcome by coming up with positive alternative scenarios. For instance, your spouse seems distant and is sending out a lot of emails. You decide he must be having an affair. An alternative scenario: He is working extra hard on a project. Analyze what’s most likely to happen. Most of the time, the worst-case scenario your brain comes up with is not the most likely one.
2. Use a mantra.
A mantra is just a simple phrase or word that you repeat to calm your mind. Research has shown that repeating a mantra reduces activity in the part of your brain that is responsible for self-judgment and reflection. This is the part of the brain that spends so much time rehashing the past and worrying about the future. You can use any word, sound, or saying you want. You could try something like, “Om,” “Life is good,” or “Everything is OK.” Repeat your phrase over and over, focusing your thoughts only on your mantra. If your mind wanders, return to your mantra. You can practice this almost anytime, even going around the supermarket or on your commute home from work.
3. Focus on the present.
Returning your focus to the present will help you accept and let go of what you cannot control. It will also help you realize that you can’t change the past, and that the future hasn’t happened yet, so it’s a waste of time to keep thinking about them. (This doesn’t mean that you are unaware of what happened in the past or what is about to happen in the future.) Try taking a deep breath and asking yourself how you are feeling right now.
4. Write things down.
Putting your concerns on paper allows you to return to them later. You don’t have to dismiss them entirely, and you can feel comfortable knowing you will revisit the concern. Also, the act of writing engages your mind and reduces the power of racing thoughts. When thoughts are in your mind, they feel chaotic. Putting them on paper organizes them. Use a notebook or a designated computer document. Once you’ve taken a few minutes to organize your thoughts on paper or onscreen, your mind should be calmer. If you want, set aside a time limit for thinking about them before taking a break and coming back to them later.
5. Breathe.
This shifts the fight-or-flight response of your sympathetic nervous system to the relaxed response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Try counting to 3 as you breathe in and to 5 as you breathe out. Pay attention only to your breathing as you try to slow it down. Your mind will wander, but just bring it back to your breathing. (See more tips on breathing exercises here.)
It takes time to develop new habits. Whichever of these tools you use, it will take regular practice over a long period of time to see results. Unfortunately, many people expect the effects to be immediate and abandon the practice too soon. Instead, be consistent and patient. And If you find that you are not able to get racing thoughts under control, consider consulting a mental health provider. Anxious thoughts can be part of a mental health disorder that professionals can treat effectively with psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of the two.
Getting hung up on the small things is easy. It’s what happens when intelligence meets sensitivity. You think, a lot, and therefore you worry, a lot. But you’re wasting your talents. If you can spend a plethora of energy worrying about every little thing, you can choose to instead spend a lifetime consciously funneling that energy into more beautiful causes. Being strategic doesn’t have to be unemotional.
Don’t believe the lies your brain tells you about yourself.
Anxiety is dishonest. It latches onto whatever you value and tells you the exact opposite of what you want to hear. Anxious thoughts always feel meaningful for some reason— inherent, important, looming, true. In actuality, they’re none of those things. These dark, empty clouds have nothing good to offer you. Let them slowly move along. Drag yourself away from the anxious belief that you are no good, unlovable, and unworthy. It’s time to step into the light. Choose to believe your honest thoughts instead. They reside in open, brighter spaces. They know the true stories about you— that you are kind and capable, with a pure heart.
Soaking up shame doesn’t serve you.
Bad things happen every day. You know this. You experience it. But have you ever considered that these bad things have nothing to do with you? Shame is a weird thing because it feels so personal. Our anxiety tells us we need to feel shame for everything, but mostly for small and unexceptional reasons. You made a mistake, you were misunderstood, you weren’t acknowledged, you misspoke— and somehow your inner voice feels instantly heavy, lethargic, even angry. Shame tells you you’re never going to be good enough. But this narrative is false. The truth is that you’re already good enough, just as you are. Anxiety and shame are lies disguised as purpose. They can’t touch the real you. You’re the truth in a body.
Choose to put yourself out there, over and over again.
You don’t need a permission slip from anyone to enjoy yourself. Chase imperfect joy, soak up flawed moments, and accept both the question marks and the stumbles. It’s all perfect and it’s all good, because it’s yours to experience. There’s meaning to be found in the dark spots, too. Anxious thoughts will always appear at some point, rattling around in your brain, telling you to back down, to keep quiet, to go back home, to give up before you even try. Respond by ignoring every anxious voice, accepting every beautiful risk, and saying yes to every new and scary thing. Honor your life by refusing to become afraid of the world.
Your purpose is to love. To love your decisions, your mind, your layers, and your life.
Your job is simple. Don’t become numb to the world. Remain gentle and bold. Don’t confuse societal expectations with personal satisfaction. Throw away the mangled definitions for love and success that the world has given you, and disregard the anxious lies your brain has told you about yourself. This has been going on for years, and the cycle ends now. The first step in making the world better is becoming reacquainted with your body, your dreams, your desires. Create your own definition of happiness and run with it. When opportunities for love and expression appear, the answer is always yes.
Last Updated: November 18, 2020 References Approved
This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. Chloe has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety.”
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Anxiety is a healthy and normal emotion that everyone feels from time to time. Anxiety can, however, manifest to a mental disorder that reduces your capacity to cope with these feelings of anxiety. When trying to overcome it, you should not try to eliminate your feelings of anxiety but should aim to develop your coping mechanisms when you do feel anxiety. Having the ability to cope with anxious thought is the key to overcoming it. Do not let anxiety define you as it can lead to long term depression which is an even more serious mental health issue.
