Andromeda - perhaps it might work better for you if you stopped having the expectation you can make her happy. Probably you can only affect her safety, which you have done, now she is no longer wandering. Would it work if you reclaimed your life and restricted your duties to her to a certain amount of time? IE I will give her two/three/four hours a week and that's all?
I've just had an email from the social services in my father's country of residence. I was going to devote my day to my work. Email comes in - thought: "I better deal with this." Second thought: problem will still be there tomorrow; I'm prioritising my work for once. Obviously crises pop up but last week, for example, I didn't call my dad for another rambling hour-long series of complaints and delusions, because I had spent half a day talking to his lawyers etc already. He complained yesterday but I told him calmly that I had done a lot of for him behind the scenes last week and was very busy. Shock, horror, the response I got was, 'I understand.' [NB: My brother never calls him and isn't 'expected' to. Funny how you can get cast as the 'on-call child.']
I feel for you. And don't let anyone tell you carers don't experience such feelings.My husband works with dementia sufferers weekly: he says every single carer goes through the emotions I, like you, experience. We didn't sign up to this. And if you had a good parent, they wouldn't want it for you. I don't want my daughter to go through this. *hug*